happy NIU year!

fireworks anyone?

 

 

 
 

eat pray love

is the first book that i've finished in the year 2009. i find it oddly comforting and coincidental that i should have started the year with a book about a woman's journey towards self discovery and self awareness. or should i say that there isn't such a thing a pure coincidence because i believe that everything happens for a reason. the book reverberates my desire for fulfillment and balance in my life, and to learn to appreciate and give thanks when they are achieved. 

of course i don't think my life is at the happy ending. the universe operates in a cycle and i am obviously at a stage where everything is in a perfect balance. but it is only a matter of time before the scales are tipped and my world is hurled into chaos that i must learn to control yet again. maybe not so much to control, but to ride along, as a surfer does amidst the crashing waves. (i'm sorry but i just finished the book so my mind is still filled with Bali-esque imagery)

i am such a paradox-- a cynic and a believer all at once. 

i think the idea of a Sabbatical sounds completely gorgeous. unfortunately, things are so much simpler when one is single and have no responsibilities. i have a husband, a job and bills to pay. however, i think i can manage a month long retreat at an Ashram? not that i need it now, or that i need to get away from my man, but i happen to think that the idea of spending a month alone, finding out more about myself, in absolute quiet solitude is what I want at least once in my lifetime. no doubt, if i do "learn" all about myself the very first time around, will there be a need for a 2nd retreat?

some friends that have read the book found the India part a little to long and boring but that is exactly the bit that appealed to me most. i want that same experience that the author went through (minus the emotional baggage), the spiritual cleansing, the deep meditation, the stillness and the peace. how is it possible that somebody can feel that way? i've tried meditating so many times and know how nearly impossible it is to quieten the mind for any length of time. but i also know that it is possible, i want to learn how!  

life is also always chock-full of commitments. i also became horribly aware of the numerous things that lay before me, that will need to take precedence over everything else before i can even think twice about my lovely retreat. the end isn't the horrible part, it is the process that is unfathomably excruciating. like saving up for our US trip this summer. and next summer comes the wedding. and just maybe i can do this in 2011. that seems like an awful long time away. but maybe, just maybe, i can plot it down in my life calendar. 

home improvement

i think i am beginning to turn out like my mother. I never would have dreamt the day I'd say "I love storage boxes!!!" which is exactly what i said today after a trip to IKEA. 

Trying not to burn a hole in my pocket, my shopping trip in IKEA today was more than restrained. i spent the longest minutes browsing the fabric section, and allowed myself to depart with only 4m of fabric...AND only because i had KNEW what i was going to do with the fabric (instead of the usual buying and hoarding). i had to rein myself in in the candles department, picking up only what was ESSENTIAL. in total, my bill came up to a mere S$60++ and i managed to buy all the things on my shopping list and nothing else!! (save the fabric)

4 hours later, my home is much neater, more compartmentalized and organised. 

on to the next shopping lists...

Cardinals at the superbowl!

i heart larry fitzgerald. 

He's a monster! and he will lead his team to win the superbowl this year. time to go back to the shop and grab that cardinals flannel i saw!

scratch that.

so the wedding will be postponed (yet again) to summer 2010. just because it'll fit J's parents' schedule much better. his grandma is renewing her wedding vows in summer '09 so wedding '09 will be a stretch on time and resources.

AND summer time is more befitting the theme.

so here is one of the dream gowns. simple, but gorgeous and the colours will be perfect with my tan (when i get one back).

in retrospect.

2008 has been a very good year. according to some, my saturn is returning and major changes heading my way. i think saturn returning started when i made my decision to move to shanghai. and then i got married last year. and then who knows when in the next two years will i decide to move some place else. US maybe? it's in the plans.

over the holidays back in singapore, i have been doing a lot of catching up and thinking. meeting up with friends also means i have to keep them updated with my life, and consequently keeping myself updated on mine. taking stock of my life so far. i suddenly realised i am in a perfectly balanced state, a state of contentment that i haven't felt in a long while. work is routine, predictable, but something that i love and enjoy. money is not a source of worry and i live off my earnings very comfortably. love is at its greatest heights. living in pure bliss every day with my newly wedded husband. my family and friends are doing well, everybody healthy and living out their lives. i cannot help but fear, sometimes, that this is the calm before the storm? but that will be the paranoid side of me resurfacing. with nothing else to worry about, my idle thoughts fight to be heard...*chuckles*

this trip back home helped re-establish bonds and friendships. a short 2 week trip meant making time for people who mean the most to me. it became clear to me who i enjoy spending my hurried holiday time with, and who to give a miss. i think i also made it a more family oriented holiday this time round, trying to spend more time with the family, giving them priority over other meetings. 

coming back home to shanghai (yes i do call it home too), i find myself with a different perspective towards life. call it growing up or whatever you want, but i do know what i have planned ahead and what i want happening in my life. 

so in 2009, i shall channel my energies towards leading a more fulfilling life, spending more time picking up new skills (knitting, crocheting, embroidery), working towards my goal of setting up an online business, saving for my summer holidays in US and planning for my perfect wedding. 

oh yes, and i shall end the year 2009 with a big bang at my "midsummer night's dream wedding" :)

new resolutions

like i had any old ones.

but if i had to list them (not in any order or preference):

1. eat less meat (at least stay away from pork and beef)
2. save for US trip and wedding 
3. be less naggy 
4. be MORE positive
5. listening before speaking
6. quitting bad habits :p